Diary of a Sjogie — Rena Newman

What’s going on, cool cats? I just got ketchup on my brassiere and accidentally sprayed hairspray in my eye. It’s a muggy, dewy morning here on Florida’s Emerald Coast, and I’m thinking of you all as I sit and wait at the doctor’s office. Mmm, hmm, umm. What is that…

Hello, friends. Phowhoo, snap. Apparently, I have a new habit of chewing gum obnoxiously and blowing bubbles like I’m in junior high school in the 1980s. I don’t know how I stand it because I can get amusingly agitated if I hear others chewing — or breathing — but not…

What’s up, warriors? I just cleaned out my purse and found 11 pens and a new lipstick I forgot I had. At least the TV remote wasn’t in there this time. OK, I’ll stop procrastinating and get right to it. I have some bad news. The other day, I was diagnosed with my…

Welcome back to tea and talk with your favorite peculiar Sjögie. Today’s topic is embarrassing moments. I had an interesting week, to say the least. It was filled with random awkward events that I’d like to share with you all. Are you ready? Here it goes. Awesomely abashed The first incident…

“Oh, honey. Ah, sugar, sugar.”   Hola, señoritas y señores. I’m still exhausted from the holiday weekend, even though I didn’t do much. Hey, looks like there’s caramel corn in my cleavage again. Crunch! Nom nom.   Anyway, tonight I’m sitting at home wrapped in my knitted purple mermaid…

It’s a stale Saturday night and I’m in my living room hanging with the kitties. My eyes are devastatingly dry and irritatingly itchy! I rub my left eye with two fingers and then my right, which is itchier and burns more for some reason. Of course, I can’t get in there good enough since my fingers are weak and sensitive,…

“Welcome back to the Sjögie Show. I’m your host, Rena Newman.” Oops, sorry. I was daydreaming. Hello, friends. Have you seen the Wonder Woman meme? You know, the one that says, “I am Wonder Woman. I wonder where I left my keys. I wonder where I put my purse …” Well, that’s me!…

Howdy, friends. As an Asperger’s person, I am no stranger to discrimination, ableism, and disability harassment.  I could tell you many stories of how I’ve been mistreated due to having a different way of functioning, processing information, and socializing. Sigh.   A few rhetorical…

Bonjour! What do frozen fingers and Viagra have in common? The answer is Raynaud’s phenomenon. Let me tell you the story of when I first experienced Raynaud’s phenomenon and how it led me to popping Viagra pills daily. Sjögren’s, Raynaud’s, and the patch Oh, the comorbidities of Sjögren’s…

It happens. Everyone gets the blues from time to time. For us Sjögies, it can be the “Sjögren’s blues.” How could we not become a little glum when faced with the unique challenges that accompany this rare, lesser-known disease? There are various ways to battle the blues, but one of…

Hello again! Given the title, you may be wondering if I really have a tooth crafted out of wood like George Washington. (Actually, I hear it’s a myth that he had wooden teeth.) And what could this wooden tooth possibly have taught me? Please read on to find out.