Choosing to Walk in Forgiveness
Greetings, friends. I was just bawling because “Hard Candy Christmas” played on the car radio, and now I have extra smudgy, smeary smoky eyes. Uh-oh, I need to wipe and blow my nose, but I don’t have any Kleenex. I guess I’ll have to use this polka-dot cloth sunglass case.
Hold on. Whoa, my face feels tight. Did someone sneak into my house and give me a Botox injection while I was sleeping last night? Never mind, I reckon it’s my scleroderma, which is now causing the tissue on one side of my face to start shrinking. I have no idea what my Sjögren’s syndrome has been up to.
Well, buckle up, buttercups. We are taking a hard right. This column is about walking in forgiveness.
‘Aw, bless your pea-pickin’ heart’
As my health deteriorates, I’m finding that many people’s boundary violations and overall meanness toward me are increasing. How naive of me to think I’d receive more compassion and empathy!
I’m typically calm, patient, and not easily offended, so it was a bit alarming this week when I started to fantasize about Batman slapping people, or warning others that I’m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs and may or may not bite them.
Look, I confess I’ve been a little hot under the collar lately. I’m feeling anger and many other emotions, and that’s OK. I’m just being cautious because I don’t want to become an angry, bitter person. Out of all the struggles I’ve faced with chronic illness, so far, walking in forgiveness each day and not losing myself have been the biggest challenges.
2 important things
I’ve decided I need to focus on setting boundaries consistently in a healthy way, while remaining in forgiveness. I get too tired and have the added complication of difficulties with my social cues, but I know doing this more will help decrease the chance of overthinking and allowing things to fester.
I’m also choosing to pray to forgive every offense, even when I absolutely don’t feel like it. I may not have control over how illness affects my body or how others act, but I do have control over my own heart, and I am not allowing anyone to harden it or take my peace away from me. Period. End of story/column/ride.
We have reached our destination. Please watch your step upon exiting.
Below is an original song I wrote about forgiveness, if anyone is interested in listening.
Take care, and much love to you all.
I would love to hear how you are all doing. I hope this column is helpful somehow. Please feel free to share any thoughts in the comments below.
Note: Sjögren’s Syndrome News is strictly a news and information website about the disease. It does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website. The opinions expressed in this column are not those of Sjögren’s Syndrome News or its parent company, BioNews, and are intended to spark discussion about issues pertaining to Sjögren’s syndrome.